How To SPICE UP & Keep The Spark Alive In Your Relationship (18+)
How to Spice up a Marriage
After the first year of wedded bliss comes and goes, many couples struggle to find ways to keep their marriage exciting. How do you keep the spark alive when you're dealing with stressful bills and trying to meet your kids' needs? Trying new things together, complimenting each other more, having more sex, and being open to change are things you can do immediately to make each other happier and more excited about what the future will hold. Keep reading to lean more about how to spice up your marriage.
Adding Variety to Your Relationship
Take trips to places you've never been.Do you tend to stay in on the weekends, turning to the same favorite shows and take-out places over and over? The comfort marriage provides is nice, but it's important to add some variety, too. Taking vacations, weekend trips or even short day trips to places you've never been is a great way to spark interesting conversations and find new reasons to laugh together.
- Plan a trip with activities you think both of you will enjoy. If you both love wine, go wine tasting at a new winery, and buy a few bottles to take home so you'll remember what a nice time you had.
- If you and your spouse are adventurous types, plan a trip that takes you far from your comfort zone. For example, you could visit a country where people speak another language and have fun finding your way around a foreign city together. Or for a weekend or day trip, instead of driving to the next town over, try riding your bikes instead, or taking a rafting trip. Do something that will help you feel like a team again.
Embrace each other's hobbies.It's fun and sexy to see your spouse trying out your hobby for the sake of love and adventure. If your spouse is a French film buff but you like to spend your free time playing sports, give up a game night to go see a film that you can talk about together afterward. In exchange, ask your spouse to join in for a pick-up game or play a singles tennis match with you sometime. You'll get to see each other feeling happy and in your respective elements, and that's definitely a recipe for spicing up a marriage.
- You don't have to completely adopt your partner's hobby; maybe you hate subtitles, or you really dislike having tennis balls flying at your head. Just giving it an honest try will make your partner feel good. And no complaining!
- Take pleasure in watching your partner enjoy his or her hobby. People only choose hobbies that make them happy. Your partner's happiness should make you happy, too!
Talk about new subjects.Do work, school, your kids' needs, and finances tend to be the subject of most of your conversations? Falling into the rut of never talking about things are fun and exciting can spell doom for a marriage over time. Make a point of having at least one conversation a day about something not related to everyday life. You'll find that both of you enjoy talking with each other a lot more when you aren't spouting worries every time you open your mouth.
- Reading books and news articles is one way to get new conversation fodder. Talk about what's going on in the world outside your marriage. Politics, current events, scientific advancements, and pop culture are good conversation topics. Watch movies and shows together and analyze them together afterward. Make plans together and talk them out leading up to the events.
- Try talking about something fun, new or interesting first thing in the morning. The first conversation you have will set the tone for the day. Rather than asking "Did you remember to pay the gas bill?" Start a pleasant conversation about what you're looking forward that day.
Change up your hair and clothes sometimes.This goes for woman and men! Sometimes adding spice is as easy as switching out the same old jacket for something bright and new, or wearing your hair in a different style every once in a while. Your partner will love seeing you trying something new. Wear a new shade of lipstick, get bangs, shave your beard, buy new shoes, put away that old t-shirt you wear every weekend - the possibilities are endless.
- For added fun, dress completely differently for a day, and act totally charming. For example, if you're a jeans kind of guy, put on dress pants and a button-down shirt with some cologne. Kiss your spouse on the neck and tell her how much you love her.
- You could also agree as a couple to dress as strangers - lots of couples do it! Plan on wearing interesting, sexy clothes and go separately to the same bar or hotel. When you see each other, pretend like you're meeting each other for the first time.
Stepping Up the Romance
Surprise your spouse every once in a while.When was the last time you gave your husband or wife a sweet, surprising gift? Maybe you both have everything you need, but it's nice to get a thoughtful gift every once in a while. It doesn't have to be expensive; just a little something to show your spouse you've been thinking of him or her and you're thankful to be married. Here are a few ideas for thoughtful gifts:
- Cook your spouse's favorite dinner, and serve it with a nice bottle of wine.
- Buy your spouse something you've seen him or her eyeing online for awhile, or something he or she admired in a shop window.
- Flowers and chocolate are classic thoughtful gifts that everyone can appreciate.
- Surprise your spouse by doing his or her regular chores sometime.
- Clean up the bedroom, buy a few new throw pillows, and light some candles one evening when you're both staying in.
- Plant your spouse's favorite flowers in front of the house.
- Throw a dinner party and invite your spouse's family and friends.
Take good care of each other.Are you taking your spouse for granted in any way? Do you know what worries he or she has, or what needs aren't always being met? Go out of your way to ease your spouse's mind and make life a little easier for him or her. Try to get more in tune with how you can be a better husband or wife. This will strengthen your marriage and help it feel more satisfying.
Compliment each other more.A few compliments can go a long way toward spicing up a marriage. Just make sure they're genuine! What do you truly appreciate about your spouse? Do you ever make a point of telling him or her? Now's the time to start expressing your appreciation and letting your spouse know you think he or she is the most wonderful person in the world.
- The number of compliments and positive things you say to your spouse should greatly exceed the number of negative things you say. You don't have the right to cut your spouse down, and you should never insult him or her. Be accepting, and if it's necessary to say something negative, be gentle.
- Compliment your spouse in front of other people. Your spouse will feel great, and others will be impressed at how happy and sweet your marriage is. Never, ever criticize your spouse in front of other people; this can cause long-term damage.
Don't keep score.Tallying up how many times you took the kids to school this week, made dinner, did the dishes, and so on is a recipe for resentment. You and your spouse aren't opponents - you're a team! You're in this together, and you need to remind yourself of that sometimes. Don't get bogged down in keeping track of who does what chore.
- Perform your responsibilities with a spirit of cheerfulness and generosity, rather than frowning and complaining all the time. Encourage your spouse to do the same. You'll find your days together become more fun that way.
- If the division of chores and other responsibilities in your marriage is truly unequal, that's a different story. If your spouse isn't doing any work at all, and you feel like you're running the household on your own, you might need marriage counseling.
Making Sex a Priority
Get in the mood.After several years of marriage, maybe you find yourself saying "I'm not in the mood" more often than not. Next time, stop yourself before you say that, and think about why you aren't. Is it because you're tired? Then get more rest so you'll be in the mood! Are you kids asleep in the next room? You're going to have to get over it for the sake of your marriage. Find ways to get in the mood, because having regular sex is important in a marriage, and it certainly spices things up.
- Think of sex as a form of stress relief. A lot of people don't feel like having sex because they have too many things to worry about. Having sex with your partner is one of the best ways to free your mind of worries for a little while. You'll feel closer and happier afterward, and you'll start turning to your partner for relief more often!
- Fatigue is another big reason why people aren't in the mood to have sex on any given night. Have sex anyway. It can be calm, slow, sleepy sex, but you should still do it.
Try new things in bed.You've probably heard this one before, but that's because it works for so many people. Spicing up your sex life can be as easy as trying a different sexual position, wearing sexy lingerie when you normally don't, having sex in a different place (not always in your bed), or changing things in your bedroom to make it feel more sexy.
- Try tantric sex, a sensual, slow form of sex that encourages deep intimacy.
- Role-playing in the bedroom can be an exciting way to change things up.
- Talking dirty is an easy way to inject lots of spice into your sex life.
Schedule a date night.It's great when sex can be spontaneous, but sometimes life gets in the way. If you have an extremely busy schedule and spend a lot of time meeting your kids' needs, you might let sex fall by the wayside. The solution is to set at least one night a week aside for a date night that involves sex. Spend time alone together doing something you enjoy and do your very best to be in the mood that night. Having regular sex will definitely make you feel closer to your partner and put the spark back in your marriage.
Be accepting of your spouse's aging.Your spouse's body, personality, goals and dreams are going to change over the years, just like you are changing. Married couples need to accept each other as they change and mature, rather than struggling to hold on to youth that is no longer there.
- Don't see your spouse's changing body as being full of flaws. Our culture views aging as something to resist, but this is a backwards view. Changing skin and hair can be beautiful in their own right. Be glad you and your spouse get to grow old together!
- Be flexible enough to accept your spouse's changing personality, too. People tend to get a little harder as they age, but they also get wiser. Help your spouse mature into a happy, whole, fulfilled person by being flexible and accepting.
Be thankful for your life together.Remember when you took your marriage vows? You never could have imagined all you'd go through together as a couple. Look how far you've come, and how much you've accomplished, and be grateful for it. Expressing your gratefulness to your partner will re-energize your marriage and help you look forward to a long future together.
Don't dwell on the past too much.Don't compare your spouse to his or her former self, and don't compare your marriage to its early stages. Life is full of changes, and that's a good thing. Wishing things were as they used to be isn't going to help your marriage to grow. And would you really want it to remain stunted forever, anyway? You can enjoy talking about memories and looking at old pictures, but try not to get overly wistful and nostalgic. Focus on the here and now, and planning for the future.
- Say nice things about your spouse to other people all the time, and especially in front of your spouse.
- Profound words, meditate on these....
- "The key to a successful marriage is trying to out-do the other person with nice, thoughtful things."
- This creates a positive, loving atmosphere and makes the other person FEEL loved, so they want to return the gifts.
- Marriage is not all about you, if you try to focus more on the other person than you do on yourself you will succeed!
In other languages:
Italiano: , Español: , Русский: , Français: , Português: , Deutsch: , Bahasa Indonesia:
Video: How to Battle Complacency & Boredom In Your Marriage (Spice Up Your Marriage Now!)
Your January Horoscope Is Here, and It’s Highly Interesting
17 ways to improve your heart health
Amazons Jack Ryan: Critics lukewarm, but audiences are loving it
How to Make Your Own Aux Cable
How to Fix Error 3194 on iOS
11 Weight-Loss Tricks That Require Zero Amount of Thought
How to Enjoy a Baseball Game when You Dont Like Baseball
How to Better Understand the Profiles of Waiting Children
How to Puree Chicken for a Baby
Show Us Your Shoes Competition At Folk Clothing
10 Phrases That Get Him in the Mood
How to Pack Clothes in a Suitcase
Heres When You Should Eat Your Biggest Meal If Youre Trying to Lose Weight
How to Know What Waves You Should Be Surfing
10 Tricks to See Weight-Loss Results Fast